Tag: humor

  • First day. Worst day.

    First day. Worst day.

    His clothes are creased, but he can see his reflection in the upper of his shoes. He feels like a million bucks—though it’s more like five hundred, in credit, with interest.

    The city buzzes. Horns. Footsteps. Voices rising. He bumps into a guy at the crosswalk, nearly walks through him like a ghost.

    “Hey man, watch it!”

    He doesn’t slow. With each step, he whispers a few words, rehearsing the start of his day.
    “Thank you for this opportunity. I promise I won’t let you down.”

    He grabs a coffee on the way, on credit, with interest. Swipes his card like it’s his money. It will be—after today. He’ll pay it all back. With interest, of course.

    He smiles and nods to the woman at the front desk. Sherry, or maybe Cheryl. It doesn’t matter. He’ll have time to learn it.

    The elevator hums, lifting him to the fifth floor—his new office, he’s been told.
    Ding.

    A square of discolored paint marks where the last guy’s nameplate once hung. He pauses, winks at the vacancy, takes a mental snapshot of his name filling that space.

    Inside the office, a man stands with his back turned. The boss. He turns as the door closes.

    The new hire reaches out a hand. The boss doesn’t shake it.

    “Have a seat,” he says.
    “I’m afraid we have some bad news.”

    His shoulders sink. His armpits go swampy.

    “You’re fired.”

    He sips his coffee.
    Bitter. Burnt.
    He can taste the interest.